Wise Words.... No Better Time Than Christmas

I was about to hit the 'send' button. I'd spent a good deal of time wording and re-wording my disappointment in a group I had briefly participated in. Someone in the group had put together a survey asking for feedback as to the future of the group. 

Evening meeting times were my biggest complaint, as I live an hour out of town and didn't like traveling back home in the dark during winter. As a result, I never got to know the people in this group very well. Was it any wonder they treated me like a stranger when I did come? Yet suddenly, this became my biggest complaint. I did not feel welcome in the group, I complained on the form. I added a carefully worded paragraph restating my impression.

My husband, who shares an office with me, leaned over, and said, "What's you doing?" He got an earful. Always thoughtful, and slow to respond, he calmly said, "You don't want to send that if the group is important to you." 

And of course he was right. The group would never treat me the same again if I did. They would feel bad that they had made someone feel unwelcome. To be fair, friendship takes time. My real problem was not being able to attend more. I reworded my comment and told them the group was important to me and about my problem driving home in the dark. It was a kinder response and left the door open for a solution. Not sure how this will turn out but I feel better.

Publilius Syrus got it right in the quote above. Holding your tongue is not easy for most of us, but it can mean living with "no regrets" later when we do. Among family, with friends, in the office, and doing business out and about, our words have the power to impact others negatively and positively. I tend to be bolder with the pen than in person and sometimes forget. Today was another reminder.  But hey, I'm going to forgive myself. This is the season of forgiveness after all. And there is no better time than Christmas to reflect on this, when we are faced with holiday gatherings and festivities we may or may not appreciate. There is  continued unrest in our countries of residence and elsewhere. Within our lives and without, there is plenty to upset and isolate us from others. I'm going to concentrate on the message of love and forgiveness instead that Christmas represents. This is true peace.

On another note...
I'm still trying to figure out the Christmas tree thing. We no longer have an artificial tree and I'm resisting the urge to buy another one that costs more than $300 if you want one that doesn't shed. I do enjoy these trees, fresh ones even more, with all the decorations and that wonderful, reminiscent scent of Christmas past, but I can see these elsewhere....in stores who choose to celebrate Christmas, my church, Mother's retirement home, and neighborhood yards with lighted trees. Someday I wouldn't mind doing a survey. Fresh only or artificial? Did you stop having one when your children left home? Maybe I'll get a few answers here.  

~~Sharon

Sharon M. Himsl

Published: Evernight Teen 

The Shells of Mersing