Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Insecure Writers' Support Group: Stepping Forward
This is my first time posting to the IWSG group (click link to participate), and already I'm feeling insecure, not wanting to say the wrong thing. But I guess this is a place where I can bare my writer soul and speak honestly, right?
I am trying to finish a novel that has been rewritten so many times it's almost an embarrassment. I've written probably ten drafts (I've lost count) and it's had several critiques. However, it's a far, far different and better book than the one I started writing nearly fifteen years ago. Today it finally feels complete, but I'm overwhelmed with the process of finding an agent and publisher. I know I need an agent. At least that will be my foremost goal in the beginning. I just don't want to back down when the going gets tough, and from what I hear, it will. I really believe in Callie's story, a fourteen year old who along with her little brother searches for their missing mother who disappeared in Thailand. So much of her story is taken from my own experience living in Malaysia and traveling to Thailand (Callie is half Malaysian). So you see, a huge chunk of my heart lives in this novel, but I know I need to be tough and also look at it as a product I'm going to sell. I need to stay objective, right? Is that possible?
Not sure why I have hesitated so long to join this group, but it only took reading a third of IWSG's book to realize the benefits. I read the chapter on flash fiction and decided to give it a try. I had been editing my novel for so long I wasn't sure if I had a creative bone left in me. I sat down and wrote an entire scene, one I had been mulling over for months but had never put on the page. I realized I had just started another novel. I have since written a second scene, and so I'm very grateful to this group's book for motivating me.
One thing I know for sure is that I need to get the current novel off my desk. So I'm stepping forward and asking for your support, in soft little ballet slippers. Sigh.....I wish had the boldness of a gypsy dancer (hmm...not sure why I thought of gypsies.....must be from Libba Bray's Gemma Doyle trilogy. I was reading it while finishing my novel). But you know the kind of dancer I'm talking about. Basically, I'm afraid of the spotlight. I'm the actor behind the curtain, afraid to go on stage. So, I'm insecure, I admit it. Full confession. Am I as hopeless as I feel right now?